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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489279">Mild and Quiet As He Smiles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraCody/pseuds/TerraCody'>TerraCody</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Night Before the Decisive Battle [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions/Golden Deer Joint Route, Headcanon, Heavy Angst, Kissing, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Out of Character, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:55:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25489279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraCody/pseuds/TerraCody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Felix POV. Sequel to At the Edge of Time. He thought he knew what he wanted in life. Fate seems to have decided things differently for him.</p><p>But...he really doesn’t mind at all. He just doesn’t know how to show it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, Sylvain Jose Gautier/Mercedes von Martritz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Night Before the Decisive Battle [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Fire Emblem: Three Houses and its characters are the property of Intelligent Systems, Koei Tecmo, and Nintendo. It occurred to me when I wrote At the Edge of Time I didn’t explain why I like Felix/Ingrid so much. The reason I like this pairing isn’t so much their Support chain but their other interactions. Like, they talk about each other a lot in random conversations with Byleth. I wouldn’t call myself an expert on tsunderes, but when I saw their Support chain I got the impression that Felix was in love with Ingrid right from the beginning. He just showed it in an extremely poor way. Ingrid’s feelings though seemed to change to me overtime. And their dialogue when they’re on opposing sides in war (i.e. Crimson Flower) is so intriguing and tragic. Fate seems to throw nothing but tragedy at these two, but I love both of their paired endings together, although obviously the Azure Moon ending is the one I prefer for them. </p><p>But man, I take back what I said about how difficult it was to write a Flayn POV. Writing a Felix POV was one of the most difficult fanfics I’ve ever written, lol. I put up an OOC tag because it was so difficult being inside Felix’s head that I’m not entirely sure I got him right. In any case, I hope you enjoy this story.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter One</p><p>
  <em>I was surrounded by darkness. I could see black fog swirling around me, but I couldn’t see anything beyond it. What was going on?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I squinted through the darkness, and unsheathed my my sword and hoisted up my shield. Both my Aegis Shield and Sword of Moralta hummed with power, and illuminated light that helped to clear the fog and darkness around. The light from my sword and shield spread out directly in front of me, and I was startled at the face I saw before me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Father.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I didn’t allow myself to show shock however, and lowered my sword and shield. “What do you want, Old Man? Are you haunting me now like you haunt Dimitri? I’m not interested in speaking to a dead man. Whatever you have to say to me now, you should’ve told me when you were still alive.” My tone was harsh, but I couldn’t keep the pain from my voice and I hated myself for it.</em>
</p><p><em>My father looked back at me from his position on his horse, his expression melancholy. I wanted to hang onto the anger and resentment, but I felt a hard lump in my throat at seeing this expression. It was just another horrible reminder of all of the missed opportunities—opportunities that</em> I <em>had squandered. I swallowed, but coughed from the pain in my throat.</em></p><p>
  <em>“So, my foolish son,” Father said finally. My brow rose at his insult. I hadn’t heard him talk to me like this since...I couldn’t remember. “You took it upon yourself to leave your family behind.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Excuse me?!” I spat out. His words stung deeply, and my anger came quickly. “What are you on about?! Does it look like I’ve left my family behind?! <strong>I’m </strong>leading our damned house now because you decided to fall on some girl’s sword instead of properly disarming her! If I don’t measure up to your expectations, go back to the afterlife and complain to Glenn! I’m not going to listen to any of your complaints!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I am the king's shield, devoted to protecting the Kingdom, as well as the king's lance, who kills his foes!” Father’s voice boomed out. My eyes widened as a cold feeling of shock and—fear quickly started filling my body. I took a step back, and realized for the first time that Father wasn’t alone. He was flanked by soldiers of House Fraldarius. Soldiers that I knew and had led into battle—and all of them were looking at me with contempt.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”...I don’t know what you think is going on Father,” I said, trying to snarl but my voice almost sounded pleading. “But you better stop speaking in riddles and tell me what you’ve think I’ve done!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“It's a father's duty to settle his child's failures,” Father said. It’s like he wasn’t listening to a single word I was saying. “Felix...You must die here and now!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Wh—HEY!” I shouted as I suddenly found myself surrounded by House Fraldarius’s soldiers. All of them had their swords drawn—on ME. “What is this?!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The soldiers of House Fraldarius did not seem to hear me. I raised the Aegis Shield to deflect a sword and hissed when I felt a lance nick my side. “Stop!” I shouted. “Don’t you know who I am?! I’m fighting for the Kingdom!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I saw a burst of light and jumped backwards to avoid the spell that had been thrown at me. Father—he ATTACKED me! I gaped in horror at my Old Man as he let out a battle cry and charged his horse forward—towards me!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Die, traitor!” One of the soldiers shouted. He thrusted his lance towards my throat, and I felt a brief surge of panic. I raised the Sword of Moralta and it effortlessly sliced through the soldier’s lance. My sword cut the man straight up the front of his body, and his blood shot out and sprayed all over me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”He attacked a soldier of House Fraldarius!” Someone shouted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Felix!” My father roared behind me. “I will never forgive you for what you have done!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They continued to attack me. I fought back, slaying the soldiers before they could kill me, but as each soldier of House Fraldarius fell the greater the furor rose around me. “Father, just stop this!” I shouted, unable to keep the pleading from my voice. “I haven’t done anything!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You are a disgrace who has only ever thought of his own self-interest,” Father retorted. He was now the only one left standing. “It was foolish of me to love you as much as I did. It was foolish of me to <strong>ever</strong> believe you could measure up to Glenn!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He lunged at me and I raised my left hand. To my horror I saw that I was no longer holding the Aegis Sword in my left hand, but the Sword of Moralta! “NO!” I shrieked.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I watched in horror as the Sword of Moralta—the Sacred Weapon that had been in my family for over a millennia—stab deep into Father’s diaphragm. I screamed and quickly pulled the sword back and away from, but right before my eyes I saw the sword tear Father asunder.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I grabbed for Father, but his body kept slipping out of my hands. Even after he hit the ground I tried to grab him in my arms, but he just kept getting further and further away from me. I finally screamed and lunged at him, succedding in wrapping my arms around him. “Why did you attack me?! Why?! I didn’t want to hurt you!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Father coughed, and a geyser of blood burst from his mouth and splashed me in the face. I barely flinched and tears stung my eyes as I saw droplets of Father’s blood drip from my face back down to his body. “Old Man...why...?” My voice sounded small, like I was a child again.</em>
</p><p><em>Father wasn’t looking at me. His cloudy eyes stared up towards the dark abyss above us. “So, this is it...Your Majesty...</em> <em>Please bring us victory!”</em></p><p>
  <em>”Stop talking like this!” I wheezed out. “I was on your side! WE WERE ON THE SAME SIDE!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Father didn’t answer me. His body was cold and still in my arms, his eyes unseeing. A smile hung on his bloodstained lips. A smile...he wore the same smile when he—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“<strong>No</strong>!” I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head violently. “This isn’t real...I didn’t kill my father! It wasn’t my fault!” My breath came out through my clenched teeth. “This isn’t real...”</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>”Felix, why?”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>My head snapped up as this voice ran through the darkness. I looked around frantically but didn’t see anyone. “Wh—”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Dastard!” A Knight of Seiros lunged at me from the darkness, swinging an axe at my head. I grabbed the Sword of Moralta and swung it up, striking the Knight down. “Stop fighting me!” I hollered. “We’re on the same side!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I felt something behind me and swung my sword backwards. I turned and gaped with horror as I saw a Kingdom Knight dead before me.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>”Felix, why?!”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The words echoed through the darkness again, and I turned in the direction of that voice. I stumbled backwards when I saw six Kingdom solders charging at me, all of them screaming with weapons raised. Instead of engaging them I turned and ran. I didn’t know where I was running, but I wasn’t looking to kill anyone else, even if it was in self-defense.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>”You’ve betrayed His Majesty, Glenn, and Lord Rodrigue. You’ve betrayed just about everyone!”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>The voice was vibrating in my ears. Soldiers emerged from the darkness ahead of me and I veered to the left, using my sword to deflect an attack.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>”You’ve betrayed His Majesty, Glenn, and Lord Rodrigue. You’ve betrayed just about everyone!”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>I heard a multitude of battle cries ahead of me. I skidded to a stop and gaped in horror as I saw Kingdom Soldiers and soldiers from the Church of Seiros ahead of me. I turned around and saw just as many soldiers charging me from behind. <strong>I’m going to die.</strong></em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>”You’ve betrayed His Majesty, Glenn, and Lord Rodrigue. You’ve betrayed just about everyone!”</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I was a seasoned warrior. Using superior speed and sword skill, I fought and slew every soldier who attacked me. I lost count of the number of people who mindlessly charged me; the corpses piled up in a massive wall before me, blocking my path. They kept coming and coming...the smell of blood and rotting flesh filled the air. And the mountain of corpses got higher and higher...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And I kept hearing that voice yelling in my ears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong> ”You’ve betrayed His Majesty, Glenn, and Lord Rodrigue. You’ve betrayed just about everyone!” </strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Stop it!” I shrieked, not recognizing my own voice. “Please stop fighting me! I don’t want to do this!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But the soldiers kept coming. They kept falling at my blade. I was covered in blood and torn flesh. The wall of corpses had grown so high that it dipped forward, the bodies on top falling at my feet.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>”YOU’VE BETRAYED HIS MAJESTY, GLENN, AND LORD RODRIGUE! YOU’VE BETRAYED JUST ABOUT EVERYONE!”</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>“SHUT UP!” I screamed, unable to handle that voice any longer. I spun around and thrust my sword—</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And stabbed Ingrid straight through the heart.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A wheeze of horror erupted from my throat. Ingrid’s eyes and mouth were wide, and she was gasping for breath. A trickle of blood slipped out from the corner of her mouth down to her chin. All around me the world seemed to stop. The soldiers that were still alive—the wall of corpses—they all disappeared into the darkness around us.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“NO!” I grabbed her in my arms as she collapsed. She wasn’t holding a weapon in her hand. She wasn’t even wearing armor, and she was cold to the touch. “Ingrid—Ingrid, what have you done?! I’m not a traitor! I—” I looked at the sword sticking out of her body. “Oh, Goddess...Ingrid—I...”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ingrid wheezed as she struggled to breathe, her eyes looking unseeingly at the black sky above. I turned her face towards me but she wouldn’t look at me. “Ingrid...” I was at a loss for words. The emotional pain that ripped me apart from the inside was so intense that I thought I might die from it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I was uninjured, covered in the blood of my allied soldiers that I had just killed. Covered in Father’s blood. And Ingrid’s.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>”Ingrid...” I stared down at the Sword of Moralta sticking out of her chest. I knew if I pulled it free then it would be all over. I looked back at her face. Words ruptured out of me as I clung to her. “I love you! I. Love. You! I’ve loved you since we were kids! I didn’t want this to happen! Why couldn’t you understand?!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ingrid’s eyes slid closed. Not once did her green eyes meet mine. “Mmm...” a smile formed on her lips. “Maybe...I’ve become like him...”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then her body went still, slackened as her soul left her body, leaving an increasingly cold corpse in my arms.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I saw the teardrops hit her cheeks before I became aware that I was crying. I choked on a sob and held her close. Through my tears, I saw the corpses piled up around us, forming a circle that I could not escape.</em>
</p><hr/><p>My eyes snapped open as I came awake. After a moment I realized that I was holding my breath and I let it out. It gasping and ragged. I slowly sat up in bed, though I ended up leaning against the wall for support because I was dizzy. I closed my eyes again and struggled to catch my breath. <em>It was just a dream. Just a damn nightmare...</em></p><p>I noticed that I was drenched in sweat and cursed under my breath. I slowly got out of bed and removed my pajamas. I used the top to wipe the sweat away but it didn’t do any good. I would need to bathe to properly clean myself up.</p><p>I paused in front of my desk and looked at the calendar on the wall. It was the tenth day of the Harpspring Moon. My father had been dead for ten days. Perhaps reminiscent of the dream, the reminder made my heart ache sharply and I growled and threw aside my shirt. My nightmare replayed itself again inside my head. I saw the images of dead soldiers, soldiers that I knew personally. I saw my father’s dead face. I saw Ingrid’s—</p><p>“Nnngh!” I snarled, slamming the heels of my hands against my eyes. My mind lingered on seeing her dead face, and her smile...like she was <em>happy </em>to have died, even by my hand. Why...Why did I have such a horrible dream where I was killing people who meant so much to me? Why did I kill people that I loved?</p><p>
  <em>You know why.</em>
</p><p>I looked towards the door. I ducked my head and frowned. <em>This is foolish. She’s alive. It was just a nightmare. The Old Man is dead, so either that was manifestation of my mind or he decided to visit me and play a cruel prank on me. It doesn’t matter.</em></p><p>After a moment, I cursed under my breath and quickly assembled my military attire. I didn’t bother tidying my hair and left my room. My eyes darted towards the corridor where Dimitri’s room was, but I snapped my teeth and headed in the opposite direction. This was stupid, so stupid. It was still the middle of the night, and even if I knocked on her door she wouldn’t answer because she was asleep!</p><p><em>But I still want to see her. </em>I hated myself for being unable to suppress that thought.</p><p>Ingrid’s room was all the way at the end of the hall, right in front of the stairs. I stood in front of the small corridor leading to her room for a long time. The images from my nightmare kept surfacing in my mind and it made me nauseas. <em>Stop it. It was just a figment of your imagination. It wasn’t real. She’s not dead.</em></p><p>Frowing deeply, I closed the distance to her door and knocked on her door with a closed fist. The sound was more aggressive than I had intended, but I was having difficulty keeping my emotions under control. I back up out of the corridor, and my back hit the frame around the stair going down to the first floor. I realized that I almost tumbled down the stairs due to my carelessness and I was relieved that no one had been around to see it. I folded my arms over my chest and waited. I idly glanced towards Marianne’s room, wondering if the sound had woken her up, but she didn’t come out of her room.</p><p>I waited for forty-five seconds and Ingrid did not come to the door. <em>Well...I tried. </em>I shrugged stiffly and turned to head back down the hallway to my room. <em>She’s most likely all right, anyways.</em></p><p>Before I could walk away, the door suddenly opened. “Hello?”</p><p>I stopped dead in my tracks and looked to my right. Ingrid’s tired and confused face stared back at me through the open crack of her door. She blinked, and recognition lit up in her face as she good a clear look at me. “Felix?” She left her room and came out into the hallway. “What is it? Is everything okay?”</p><p>She was disheveled, having clearly just gotten out of bed. Her hair was unkempt and her clothes ruffled. She wore a white nightshirt that was three sizes too big for her, and black leggings. She looked less than dignified—but she was alive. And she was still quite beautiful.</p><p>I shook my head to clear away that thought. <em>You’re not acting like yourself, Felix. You don’t base your admirations on physical appearance. You base your admirations on someone’s worth.</em></p><p>”Felix,” she said again, her voice uncharacteristically soft. She raised a hand briefly but then lowered it. “Is something wrong? Is there an emergency we need to attend to?”</p><p>
  <em>“I love you! I. Love. You! I’ve loved you since we were kids! I didn’t want this to happen! Why couldn’t you understand?!”</em>
</p><p>”No,” I said. My tone was loud and harsh because I wanted to drown out the memory from my dream. I felt a pang of guilt for taking my embarrassment out on her. But I was embarrassed about reacting to her beauty. And I was embarrassed for the reason I had knocked on her door in the middle of the night. “It’s nothing. Go back to bed.”</p><p>I turned to leave, but felt a hand gently grab mine. I didn’t turn around, but I didn’t pull away. “Felix.” Her gentle tone instantly put me on edge, but at the same time it made my stomach squirm. I didn’t like the combination. “You came to see me for a reason, didn’t you?”</p><p>I frowned deeply and ducked my head, glad that I was turned away from her. I didn’t want to tell her that I woke her up in the middle of the night because I had a bad dream.</p><p>
  <em>Because I had a bad dream where I killed her—and had wanted to see if she was okay.</em>
</p><p>”Your wound,” I said sharply, trying to drown out my thoughts once more. “Is it still hurting you?”</p><p>”My wound?” Ingrid echoed. She laughed softly. “It’s fully healed, Felix. Nothing but a scar now.”</p><p>I nodded stiffly, still looking at her. “Just a scar, huh?”</p><p>”Would you like to see it?”</p><p>My head snapped up and turned to look at her as my heart started quickly beating. Her expression seemed nonchalantly and she had a small smile, but... “<em>What</em>?”</p><p>“My scar,” Ingrid responded. “Would you like to see it?”</p><p>”B-But isn’t it on—” I gestured to her right side.</p><p>Ingrid responded with a shrug. “It’s just a battle scar. I’ll show you and you can see that it’s healed and it doesn’t hurt me anymore.” She let go of my hand and moved towards her door. She glanced at me. “Well, are you coming? It wouldn’t be appropriate for me to show it to you in the hallway.”</p><p>I knew that I shouldn’t go into her room and look at her body with the turmoil I was feeling, but when she opened the door and beckoned me inside, my feet moved of their own accord and I followed her.</p><p>”Have a seat,” Ingrid directed to her desk chair. I complied, looking everywhere but at her. Her room was neatly kept except her bedcovers were messy. Another indicator that she had just woken up. Ingrid move to stand directly in front of me, and I unwillingly looked up to meet her gaze. Whatever she saw in my eyes made her expression soften, and she looked almost wistful. I felt a sudden surge of anger and annoyance at her pity and I nearly voice my displeasure for her when she grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it up to just under her diaphragm, exposing her torso. “Here now, you see? Nothing but a fully healed scar.”</p><p>My eyes fixed on the dark pink horizontal line on the right side of her body, contrasting with her creamy skin. Her torso was lean and well-toned, and I swallowed involuntarily. It was one of the cleanest scars I had ever seen, but seeing the scar on her body—and knowing that it was <em>my </em>fault that it was there—while also admiring her body—made me feel incredibly unclean. I was so fixated on looking at the scar that I didn’t realize that I was reaching for her until my fingertips were just over her exposed skin. I retracted my hand immediately, responding as though I had been burned.</p><p>”It’s all right,” Ingrid told me calmly. “You can touch me. Then you’ll really see that it doesn’t hurt me anymore.”</p><p>I looked up at her but regretted doing so, because the tenderness in her green eyes made me feel more uneasy. My gaze dropped back down to the scar. My hand reached out again, and this time the fingertips touched the scar.</p><p>Her skin felt warm, a stark contrast to her coldness from the dream, and though I was touching scar tissue it felt smooth under my fingers. Unable to help myself I traced the line of her scar. It nearly wrapped around to her back. I remembered the day she got this injury; she had obtained it protecting me from an enemy attack and there was a moment—brief but it felt like it an eternity—where I thought she had died in my arms. I sat there in shock staring at her as I heard Father approach us...but it didn’t matter because I thought Ingrid was dead.</p><p>
  <em>I love you.</em>
</p><p>I retracted my hand again and leaned back, frowning and avoiding her gaze. Ingrid reset her shirt. “You see? I’m really fine, Felix. Did you really come to me in the middle of the night to examine an old injury?”</p><p>
  <em>No. I came to you because I’m terrified of you dying. I came to you because I love you.</em>
</p><p>I clenched my jaw to prevent those words from coming out, and I kept my eyes on the floor. “...Felix?”</p><p>I looked up at hearing her uncertain tone. Ingrid had created distance between us, and was now sitting on her unmade bed. Her expression was full of worry, but I now couldn’t look away from her. “You know I’m a pushy person,” she said. “And I know you wanted to see me for a reason. I really want you to talk to me. You know you can trust me with anything.”</p><p>”Why?” I demanded.</p><p>Ingrid flushed, and she looked away briefly. There was a lot that I was uncertain about regarding Ingrid, but everything in the last week, and that very slight gesture, proved to be the final confirmation for me.</p><p>
  <em>She loves me.</em>
</p><p>But when she looked back at me, she didn’t give me a love confession. “You can trust me,” was all she said.</p><p>I was annoyed with her evasiveness, but I also believed her when she told me that. I was also very familiar with her pushiness, and though in the last week she had given me the space I needed I knew that she would not give me the space now.</p><p>...But. But I couldn’t just tell about something so ridiculous as dreaming about murdering her and murdering Father. But there was something...else that I knew that I needed to disclose to her. I knew that it could potentially cause irrevocable damage to our relationship, and I knew that it may even lead to my own death.</p><p>But I needed to say it.</p><p>”I was going to betray Dimitri.”</p><p>Ingrid’s eyes went wide, and the shock and horror in her expression made my heart clench. I kept my face neutral, and waited for her condemnation. But, it never came. She sat there in silence gaping at me. She was either too stunned to speak...or she was waiting for me to finish what I had to say. </p><p>I remembered that horrible day in vivid detail. After my father’s funeral, I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the damn sacrifices my family had made for the royal family. My father was dead. My brother was dead. The men and women who served House Fraldarius died and they were inconsolable with my father’s death. I didn’t know how to comfort them, but yet somehow <em>I </em>as the new head of House Fraldarius had to comfort my House’s soldiers even though it was my father who had died. And when I tried to give them words of encouragement they only cried harder. I kept thinking, <em>Why did this happen? What was the point of all this?</em> And as those thoughts kept repeating in my mind, it started going to a dark place.</p><p>I started telling myself, <em>I need to leave. I need to go to Enbarr. I need to make the boar pay for destroying my family.</em> I didn’t want to serve Dimitri anymore. My whole life has been utterly destroyed to protect his family, and what did I have to show for it? <em>Nothing</em>. My family was gone and I was stuck with a wild boar who only cared about himself.</p><p>I snapped my teeth and looked away. I knew words were flowing out of me as I relived that painful day. I couldn’t hear what was coming out of my mouth, but I remembered my struggles to regain clarity. I knew that thinking and feeling that way was idiotic. Dimitri didn’t kill my brother. Dimitri didn’t even kill my father. Running away and joining the Empire in a moment of grief wouldn’t make things better. I would’ve just ended up fighting my friends; fighting the people of my region whom I was supposed to be protecting. I <em>knew</em> that I couldn’t leave.</p><p>But...I didn’t go back to my room after leaving my soldiers. I knew that if I did then I would just pack up my things and run away anyway. I couldn’t get rid of those ugly thoughts about leaving and betraying Dimitri out of some insane idea of revenge, so I went to the Training Grounds and was intent on keeping my mind occupied. Channeling my grief and anger into violence against practices dummies instead of my prince.</p><p>But...someone locked up the place for the night so I couldn’t do that. So I was left just sitting alone in the rain with those ugly thoughts and horrible impulses. I sank deeper and deeper into a dark place...and I couldn’t pull myself out because I didn’t know <em>how </em>to pull myself out.</p><p>But then...Ingrid appeared before me.</p><p>”Me?” Ingrid finally spoke, and I was startled by her soft and surprised tone. I flushed involuntarily, suddenly aware of the words that I was saying, and I shook my head. I still wasn’t looking at her, but I remembered her presence that day. She didn’t say a single word to me, but when I saw her and felt her beside me, I felt myself abruptly jolted out of the darkness and grounded back into reality. I realized, <em>I’m plotting desertion and insurrection not out of an actual desire to do these things. I’m just angry and I’m grieving.</em></p><p>I realized that when Ingrid sat down beside me, that my inner turmoil and dark thoughts were just a result of me not handling my grief properly. So...instead of following through with my “plans” of running away, I did something else with my grief. I let my guard down and cried in front of her.</p><p>”So...there you have it,” I said stiffly, throwing my hands up in the air. “I almost betrayed Dimitri, but you stopped me from doing it.” I paused for a long moment, waiting for Ingrid to speak again. When she didn’t, anger unexpectedly snapped through me and I glared at her. “I just confessed to treason to you. Don’t you have anything to say about it?”</p><p>”What treason?” Ingrid demanded. Now she looked angry and she quickly stood. “Felix, you just lost your father! Nobody is going to think rationally in that type of situation! Do you think <em>I </em>thought rationally when Glenn died?! The morning after his funeral my father caught me stealing weapons from our armory, because I was planning on charging into Duscur! Felix, feelings and actions are <em>very </em>different from each other! You may have <em>thought </em>about betraying His Highness, but you didn’t! Instead, you stood with Dedue, Sylvain, and I and watched Professor Byleth save his sanity! You drank alcohol with us in the Dining Hall! And when you went back to your room, did you pack up and leave?! No! You went to bed, got up, told His Highness exactly how you felt about him at the War Table, and then you reaffirmed your loyalty to him! You did not commit treason!”</p><p>I stood up as well, the anger mounting in me. “I was going to abandon this Army! I was going to abandon my country! I was going to run to Enbarr and join the Imperial Army! Do you know what would have happened if I did?! I would’ve faced all of you as enemies on the battlefield, and I would’ve killed you! <em>You</em>!” I jabbed a finger at her. “Do you understand that?!”</p><p>Ingrid stared at me for another long moment of silence. Suddenly, her posture relaxed and she was...smirking at me? “What you do mean, you would’ve killed me? What makes you think I would’ve let <em>you </em>best <em>me </em>on the battlefield?”</p><p>I gaped back at her, and I was taken off-guard by the sudden bark of laughter that erupted from my throat. I slapped both hands over my mouth to suppress it, but instead I triggered a coughing fit and began coughing so hard that I was almost gagging. I fell to my knees as I tried to regain my composure. By the end of it my throat was raw, and tears had spilled down my cheeks from the violent coughing spell. I scrubbed my face quickly, not willing to let Ingrid see me crying again, and I quickly looked up.</p><p>Ingrid kneeling beside me, watching me closely with her chin leaned into her palm. “So,” she said softly. “I can inspire you to cry, laugh, and <em>not </em>commit insurrection. I count this as a victory for me, Felix.”</p><p>I glared at her and stood up. I snapped my teeth together as I turned around. “If you tell anyone this—”</p><p>”Why would I tell anyone this?” I heard her stand up behind me.</p><p>”You announced Sylvain’s escapades to the entire Dining Hall!” I snapped over my shoulder. “I hope you realize how much you embarrassed him when you did that! I wouldn’t put it past you to talk about—this, in casual conversations!”</p><p>”Sylvain’s exploits with his many lovers is <em>very </em>different from your behavior just now,” Ingrid retorted. I could almost hear her fold her arms over her chest. “I’m not going to go around telling people about emotions you expressed to me. Just like how I’m not going to go ahead hanging your guilt of supposed treason over your head. I won’t tell anyone that, either. I would like to think that you can trust me with anything.”</p><p>
  <em>I know I can.</em>
</p><p>I shook my head, and looked towards her door. Despite confessing to her, I still felt the guilt in the core of my being. “I...” I finally looked at her. “I need to see Dimitri. I need to tell him what I did.”</p><p>”What?!” Ingrid burst out. She advanced on me and grabbed my arm. “Felix, you didn’t <em>do </em>anything! Weren’t you listening to me?! You were angry and grieving and you weren’t thinking rationally! When you <em>did </em>think rationally, you expelled that nonsense from your mind and did your duty! You have nothing you need to confess to His Highness for!”</p><p>”I plotted to ditch this Army and join the Army that tore our country apart,” I reminded her grimly. “I was going to join the Army that has killed countless innocent people, and I was going to do it for my own selfish desires! Not because I believe in Edelgard’s cause! It doesn’t matter that I didn’t do it! What matters is that I <em>wanted </em>to do it! I never wanted to be head of House Fraldarius but I am, and someone in my position cannot act like that! I need to tell Dimitri what I felt and what I planned on doing, and I need to face the consequences of my actions!”</p><p>”Felix...” Ingrid’s tone was shaking, but I saw tears welling up in her eyes. “His Highness...the Professor restored him. But he’s still very fragile. If you go to him when his emotional wounds are still so raw...then you run the risk of undoing everything that the Professor has done to save him.”</p><p>I knew this. I knew that if Dimitri heard the truth of what I wanted to do then he may fall back into the darkness again. I looked away from her...and slowly nodded. “Then...I’m going to go see the Professor first. I’ll wake her up, confess to her first, and see what she has to say. If she tells me to keep it to myself, then I will. If she tells me to confess to Dimitri...then I will.”</p><p>”Good, okay.” Ingrid’s hand relaxed against my arm. She moved closer to me, and from her body language it almost felt like she wanted to hug me. I hated the tiny desire I felt from wanting to hug her. “Here, give me a minute. I’ll get changed and go with you when you go see Professor Byleth. I...I won’t let you do this alone, Felix.”</p><p>I was happy that she wanted to stay with me, but I wasn’t going to let her see how happy it made me. “Do what you want.” I pulled my arm free and headed towards her door to give her privacy.</p><p>But Ingrid had the last word before I slammed the door shut behind me. “I intend to.”</p><hr/><p>We went and woke Professor Byleth up. We gave her a few minutes to get changed before we went in and sat with her. I didn’t tell her everything that I said to Ingrid, but I told her enough about my plans for betraying the Army. She watched me with her usual stoic expression, and I found myself so ashamed of the fact that I had wanted to betray her that I couldn’t look at her. Ingrid sat beside me, her eyes on me. She didn’t say a word as I rambled on.</p><p>When I was finished, Byleth responded almost immediately. “Thank you for telling me that, Felix. And I want you to know that I don’t condemn you for how you felt.”</p><p>I looked at her finally. By saying that simple statement I felt like the world had been lifted off of me. It was so strange how she always had that ability to take away burdens of allies...and scare the life out of enemies. </p><p>“If you both will recall,” Byleth said, reclining causally on her bed. “That when we fought Kronya I abandoned all of you to chase her down and kill her. I shouldn’t have done that, but in the moment the only thing that mattered to me was avenging my father. I left all behind, without checking if any of you were injured or if there were even still enemies in the area. As your professor and leader, I betrayed you all when I put my needs first.”</p><p>”But you got the power of the Goddess,” Ingrid pointed out.</p><p>”Your situation is a bit different from mine,” I said quietly. “Your recklessness wouldn’t have resulted with you fighting with the enemy. Fighting against your former allies.”</p><p>”What I meant was that we are human,” Byleth said. “And when we get into a dark place, rectifying the wrong that put us in that dark place becomes the only thing that matters to us. The important thing is using others means to get out of that dark place. Felix, you were able to pull yourself out of that dark place in just a few hours. For me, it took an entire moon to get out of that dark place. And for others...sometimes it takes years.”</p><p>I knew who she was referring to. I swallowed hard before I spoke again. “I...want to confess to Dimitri what I wanted to do. I feel that I need to tell him because I...owe it to him.”</p><p>”If you want to tell him, go ahead,” Byleth said simply.</p><p>”Wait, really?” Ingrid exclaimed. I was also surprised too. Byleth however shrugged. “Dimitri will appreciate hearing the truth from you. You are his friend, Felix. Be honest and upfront with him like you always have. It will help you with the healing process.”</p><p>”What if he reacts badly to this?” I asked her. But she shook her head with confidence. “He won’t. It will be all right. Here.” Byleth stood and extended her hand to me. “I’ll come with you both. Let’s go together and talk to Dimitri.”</p><p>”Now?”</p><p>She smiled at me. “Now.”</p><p>So...we went. Byleth led us back up to the Dormitories to Dimitri’s room. Despite Byleth’s confidence I felt uneasy. I knew that Dimitri was back. He was still unwell, but his mind was intact.</p><p>But I didn’t want to be the cause of him going to that dark place again.</p><p>I felt a hand brush mine, and I glanced towards Ingrid. She gave me an encouraging smile as we followed the professor but I looked down towards her hand. I knew that it had touched mine briefly. I felt a flare of irritation, and snatched her hand into mine. She started, but only slightly, and I saw her blush very slightly. She didn’t look at me, her eyes on Byleth’s back, but her hand squeezed mine.</p><p>
  <em>If you love me, then stop playing these foolish games.</em>
</p><p>I let her hand go though the minute we reached Dimitri’s door. He was half-awake but he let us in, and his eager expression full of clarity filled me with guilt once more. The Professor was going to start—I could tell by her body language. Instead I swallowed my pride and dropped to my knees in front of my Prince. My childhood friend. I bent forward in full kowtow and confessed everything. I did it with a harsh but quiet tone and short words. With my nose pressed to the blue carpet, I realized why I had that dream. I saw what could’ve happened to my life had I left the Blue Lions and joined with the Black Eagles. Joined Edelgard. I would’ve piled up corpses in pursuit of subjugation under the guise of liberation.</p><p><em>I would’ve killed the people I love most.</em> </p><p>I still remained in kneeling position after I was finished speaking. I didn’t know what would happen when I lifted my head. I didn’t know what I would see. Would Dimitri become the boar again? Would he look upon me with pity like the Professor did? </p><p>I heard Ingrid throatily gasp, and the sound caused me to finally lift my head. What I saw gave me pause, and I also couldn’t help but gasp harshly.</p><p>Dimitri’s was kowtowing before <em>me. </em>His nose was pressed to the carpet. Ingrid had collapsed to her knees in shock, but the Professor was completely composed. She watched everything before her with calm eyes and her usual stoic expression.</p><p>I was still kneeling, not knowing what to do. “...What are you doing?” I asked finally, my tone still quiet. “You’re our King, you can’t be kneeling like that.”</p><p>”I am asking your forgiveness,” Dimitri said simply. I gaped at him. “I am responsible for so many horrible events in your life. When I fell into the darkness, I dragged all of you with me. All of you almost died because of my murderous impulses. Glenn and Rodrigue would both be alive if I did not exist.”</p><p>”W-Why are talking like that?!” I snapped, sitting up. “I just told you that I wanted to betray you! Why do you owe <em>me </em>an apology?!”</p><p>Dimitri sat up and I saw his expression. The haunting sadness. But there was no pity...no darkness in his face. “Because if I condemn you for what you felt, then I would be a hypocrite.”</p><p>I stared at him in stunned silence. Dimitri continued. “You <em>thought </em>about treason, but you didn’t actually do it. Ihowever <em>did</em> commit treason. I abandoned Faerghus. I abandoned my people in the pursuit of vengeance. My people suffer now because I decided that what <em>I wanted</em> was more important than what <em>they needed. </em>If I had followed Rodrigue’s advice and put my people first, then he would still be alive. Then you wouldn’t have wanted to betray me. <em>I</em> put you in that position, Felix. The fault is mine, alone. That’s why I don’t condemn you for what you felt, and why I seek your forgiveness. Had you actually gone and betrayed me, I would still be at fault for it.”</p><p>”Y...” tears unexpectedly stung my eyes but I held myself firm and blinked them away. “Y-You really aren’t angry with me?”</p><p>Dimitri blinked once, and then twice. He seemed confused. “Why would I be angry with you?”</p><p>I looked at Ingrid, and I saw the relief in her face but her eyes were red from unshed tears. I looked up at the Professor, and she was smiling softly. I swallowed hard as she gave me the slightest little nod.</p><p>
  <em>She saved him. She really did save him. This isn’t the old Dimitri. This—This is a man who is better than the person he was when we were in the Academy. It’s no wonder Dimitri loves her so much. What she has done for him—what she has done for<strong> us</strong>—she saved us all by saving him.</em>
</p><p>I looked back at Dimitri. For so long when I looked at him I hadn’t see a man or even a human. I saw a beast wearing a man’s skin; a monster who enjoyed killing. But now...I could still sense the darkness lingering in him, but it was being drowned out by the light that was shining from him. The light that Professor Byleth awoke inside him.</p><p>The mask was gone. The beast was gone.</p><p>I leaned forward into kowtow again. “Felix?” Dimitri said with confusion.</p><p>”I am Felix Hugo Fraldarius,” I said. “Head of House Fraldarius. In the name of my father, Rodrigue Achille Fraldarius, and in the name of the Goddess Sothis, I pledge my sword and my life to you, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. I pledge my sword and my life to House Blaiddyd, the rightful rulers of Faerghus. I make an oath to you, Goddess be my witness, that I will never betray House Blaiddyd, or you. Your enemies are my enemies. My sword is your sword. My life is your life.”</p><p>”Felix.” Hands caught my shoulders and I was pushed back up into a sitting position. Dimitri was moved by my speech but I saw tears on his cheek. “Your oath of loyalty moves me greatly, but I cannot in good faith accept it.”</p><p>”I—”</p><p>”In giving your oath, you have put my family and me before <em>your </em>family. No matter what my position is, you need to put your family first. Your future spouse and children need to come first in your life before me. Both Glenn and Rodrigue put me before their family, and they lost their lives for it. House Fraldarius has done enough for House Blaiddyd. House Fraldarius should put its members first for once.”</p><p>I found myself glancing at Ingrid, but I quickly dragged my gaze away to look back at Dimitri. It was quick though, so I was certain that no one had noticed. “...Fine,” I said finally. “I swear to never betray you. And I swear my sword and life to my House—my future children and my spouse—first and foremost. I swear my sword and life to you secondarily. Happy now?”</p><p>Dimitri smiled and nodded. “That’s better.”</p><p>”Now that the air is clear,” the Professor said, stepping forward. “It’s still very late and all of you need to rest. Thank you for accommodating us, Dimitri.”</p><p>Dimitri shrugged as he stood up. “You’re welcome to my room anytime, Professor. I-I mean!” Dimitri shouted, his face turning crimson. I rolled my eyes involuntarily while I heard Ingrid snort behind her hand. “W-Whatever you need, no matter the time of day, don’t hesitate to come and see me.”</p><p>Byleth only smiled back at him. “I will.”</p><hr/><p>I went back to my room after we were finished in Dimtiri’s room. Professor Byleth and Ingrid both said goodnight to me. There were so many things that I wanted to say to them both to show my gratitude for how everything had turned out. But I couldn’t formulate the words properly in my mind so I simply said, “Good night”, and closed my door. I quickly stripped out of my uniform and put on a fresh pair of pajamas that didn’t stink of my sweat. As I pulled the nightshirt over my head, my eyes wandered towards the left wall. Dimitri’s room is on the other side of that wall.</p><p>
  <em>Whatever I had felt before, I know now that I will never betray him.</em>
</p><p>I turned around as I buttoned up my nightshirt and suddenly paused. The waning candle I had carelessly left burning on my desk illuminated an object on my desk. Unable to help myself, I reached out and picked it up in my hand.</p><p>When my father had died, I was given his personal effects that he was not buried with. I had sent most of his personal effects home, such his horse’s saddle, but I kept his spell book because I thought that it would prove useful to me in my Mortal Savant class.</p><p>But now I was staring down at the one thing that he had kept on him which shocked me the most. It was a ring that was hanging on a silver chain. No...it was more than just a ring. I knew this when I turned the ring towards the candlelight and looked on the inner side. There was a name engraved on the ring.</p><p><em>Bianca</em>. This was my mother’s engagement ring.</p><p>I knew that my parents had had an arranged marriage but I also knew that my Old Man had loved Mother. She had died of illness when I was a toddler. I didn’t remember her and only knew her face from her painting at our estate. I didn’t judge people based on appearance but she had been beautiful. Her hair was dark like mine and Father’s, but her eyes were soft brown. Glenn and I had taken after Father strongly with our features, but I remembered that Glenn had inherited Father’s blue eyes while I had Mother’s brown eyes. It had been the most prominent feature that I had inherited from her.</p><p>Father had never remarried after she died, despite encouragement from other people for him to remarry. The fact that my parents had produced two Crest-bearing children in succession had impressed many people, and of course opportunistic bastards were quick to try and get into House Fraldarius in the hopes of creating more Crest-bearing children. But they didn’t succeed because my Old Man didn’t want to marry anyone else after my mother died. I didn’t know if the fact that he wore her engagement ring around his neck up until the moment he died was just a sign of the culture of Faerghus, always caring more about honoring the dead than the living, or just how much he loved and missed her. Whatever the reason was, her ring was now my keepsake. This petite woman’s ring with a modest emerald that glinted in the candlelight.</p><p>
  <em>This is the same color as Ingrid’s eyes.</em>
</p><p>I clenched my hand around the ring, but quickly released it in fear of crushing Mother’s ring. I slowly opened my hand and looked at the ring again. Fódlan had a fondness for the color green. And this was not just in Faerghus; in both the Alliance and the Empire there seemed to be a reverence for green despite the color not being attributed to any of the three country’s color sigil. As such green stones were the most popular choice for engagement rings. Not that I had ever had an interest in this, but Sylvain had mentioned it to me once. Though Father had this ring custom-made for Mother, he of course had chosen a green stone for her engagement ring.</p><p>
  <em>If things were different...then Glenn probably would’ve given this ring to Ingrid.</em>
</p><p>I shook away the thought and looked down at the ring again. I started to turn my hand to let it slip off and fall back onto my desk, but then stopped myself. I stared at the ring for a few moments before I pulled my hand close to my chest. Without giving it another thought I took the chain and hung the necklace around my neck, tucking the ring under my shirt.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I don’t know Felix’s mother’s name, but I thought the name Bianca suited her. I also don’t think canon establishes if she’s alive or dead, but I concluded that she’d been dead for a long time since neither Felix nor Rodrigue talk about her. If her name is revealed in canon, then I’ll change it here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Writing for Felix is still...an experience, lol.</p><p>Also, Glenn’s actual age has currently not been revealed in canon, however I figured with the amount of hero worship Felix had for his brother that Glenn had to be at least two years older than Felix. I chose sixteen as the age he died because that would make his age of death younger than Felix was when he joined the Academy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>29th of the Verdant Rain Moon</em>
</p><p>My senses were in high alert as I woke up, even though my eyes were not open. <em>I’m not alone in my room.</em></p><p>I opened my eyes very slowly and looked towards my left. Someone was sitting at my desk, flipping through Father’s spell book. I know I didn’t leave the book on my desk when I went to bed. I didn’t recognize the person as their back was to me, so I carefully sat up in bed as to not make a sound, pressing my back against the wall. My sword was closer to the desk than my bed, so I knew better than to lunge for it. My fingers fixed in position, ready to fire a spell at the intruder. “What are you doing in my room?” I demanded, keeping my voice cold and authoritative.</p><p>The person sitting at my desk paused in turning the pages. ”You’re a Mortal Savant, Felix? I’m impressed. Reason was never your strong suit.”</p><p>That voice...in an instant my composure crumbled at hearing that voice. Tears stung my eyes and I pressed a hand to mouth as he turned in the chair and he—Glenn, my <em>brother</em>—turned around to face me. </p><p>He died at the age of sixteen, and appearance was the same as the day he left home before he died. He was wearing the knight’s uniform of the Kingdom, his favorite sword tied at his hip. His dark hair was tied back in a short ponytail and his blue eyes were piercing and intense. It was surreal looking at my older brother when he now looked so much <em>younger </em>than me.</p><p>Glenn frowned, though. “Are you about to cry, Felix? Don’t you think you’re a little old to be crying at the drop of a hat?”</p><p>The tears dried immediately as irritation flared up in me. I straightened fully and glared at him. “Why are you here?!” I demanded. “You haven’t shown your face once to me all these years! Have you had your fill tormenting Dimitri? Now you’re here to torment <em>me</em>?!”</p><p>Glenn actually looked offended by my accusation. “I’ve never tormented His Highness, Felix.”</p><p>I slammed the heels of my hands against my forehead. “This isn’t real,” I muttered. “I’m dreaming. This isn’t my brother. This is something I just conjured up in my head...”</p><p>”Felix.” The bed dipped as Glenn took a seat on it with me. “I’m not here to torture you. I wanted to stop by and see my brother.”</p><p>”Great,” I said sarcastically, dropping my hands from my face. “If the dead can just waltz out of the afterlife whenever they want, it’s no wonder Dimitri fell so hard into darkness! Why don’t you leave the living alone and rest in peace?!”</p><p>”You’re acting a little dramatic,” Glenn said softly. “I’m just here to check in on and you talk to you.”</p><p>”That’s perfect. Sure, I’ll talk to a ghost like Dimitri does.” I glared at him. “So? What do you want to talk about?”</p><p>”Did you tell Ingrid about that dream you had?”</p><p>”Huh?” This was unexpected and I sputtered. “W-What kind of question is that?!”</p><p>”It’s rude to answer a question with a question,” Glenn scolded me, as though I were still a child. I snapped my teeth at him. “Why should I answer that question?! You’re a ghost, you should know the answer!”</p><p>”Perhaps I do,” Glenn said. “You told her the morning after in a cold, matter-of-fact tone of how you dreamt of murdering her. But you were wearing a mask because you were scared that she would hate you for it. But...” he shrugged. “She didn’t.”</p><p>”She didn’t think there was a problem because she said we can’t control nightmares,” I mumbled. “And—she told met that had we crossed blades on the battlefield then she wouldn’t have ever fallen so easily.”</p><p>Glenn ‘hmphed’, and my head shot up. That was almost a <em>laugh</em>. “That’s Ingrid. Always so assertive and full of conviction. She was always easy to talk to because she’s an attentive listener, and always honest.”</p><p>I <em>really </em>did not want to hear my brother musing over his relationship with Ingrid. “I want to talk about something else.”</p><p>”Would you like to hear what happened when I died?” Glenn asked bluntly.</p><p>”<em>No</em>!” I shouted, aghast.</p><p>Glenn shook his head. “I feel you ought to know.”</p><p>”What is there for you to tell?! You died, the Old Man never got over you like he never got over Mother, and now you’re all gone and I’m here alone!”</p><p>”’Alone’? Felix, our uncle is still alive—”</p><p>”Our uncle is an <em>unreliable idiot</em>! Why do you think I’m the head of House Fraldarius now?! Why do you think <em>I</em> lead our soldiers into battle, despite the fact that I hate authority?! He couldn’t lead an army to save his own life!”</p><p>”Still, to say that you’re alone is an insult to your friends. They love you Felix, and they’re all very worried about you.” Glenn sighed shortly. “You’ve taken too much after me.”</p><p>I glared at him, though I felt tears sting my eyes again. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>”The coldness? The cruelty? Pushing people that you love and cherish away from you? Come on Felix, that’s not you. You used to be a sweet kid. You used to laugh and <em>smile</em>. This?” He gestured to me. “The person you are now? That’s not you. That’s <em>me</em>, Felix. For the way you’ve condemned His Highness for hanging onto memories of the dead, you’re hanging on to memories of <em>me </em>by emulating my mannerisms.”</p><p>”What do I have to laugh or smile about anymore?!” The tears came and I felt embarrassed to cry in front of Glenn and I scrubbed at my face. “If you hadn’t gone off and gotten yourself killed, things would’ve been better!”</p><p>”Then Dimitri would’ve died,” Glenn said quietly. I looked up and I saw that he was looking down. His expression was now somber, and I swallowed hard. He—He wanted to talk to me and I was shutting him out like I shut out Father. This might be a dream, and Glenn might be a figment of my imagination, but I found myself leaning closer to him. “W...What happened the day you died?”</p><p>Glenn looked up, and his expression softened. “It was chaos, Felix. The world seemed to be on fire, and the air was filled with screams. And the blood—Felix, there was blood everywhere. I was gripping His Highness’s hand and were running, tripping over corpses and splashing in <em>puddles of blood</em>. I could smell the blood and burning flesh. Dimitri, he—he was crying and screaming and I could barely hear him over the other screaming. He was splattered in blood, Felix. Covered in the blood of people who sacrificed themselves for him. I was the last Royal Guard alive, everyone else was dead. I had my sword out and I was fighting enemy combatants while we tried to flee, but—I was <em>scared</em>, Felix.”</p><p>My eyes widened in shock. Glenn looked away again. “I tried to keep calm because His Highness was already hysterical, and I needed a clear head to plan our escape, but I was panicking. I didn’t know what to do—I felt like I’d been a pretender that whole time. I fashioned myself to being this fantastic swordsman, but I was so <em>scared</em>. I should’ve been thinking, <em>“I need to go, I need to save His Highness”</em> but instead I kept thinking, <em>“I don’t want to die, I don’t want to die”</em>. Because I was panicking, we were blindly running without a set direction. I should’ve taken the time to hide with Dimitri before fleeing, but...” he shook his head. “Then—I lost track of Dimitri.</p><p>”I was so scared of dying, but when I realized that His Highness was no longer with me I was so ready to die that I almost turned the sword on myself. But then I heard him screaming again. Because he’d been screaming beside me for so long I was able to distinguish his screams from everyone else and track him, and I found him. An assassin was dragging him kicking and screaming by his hair and I just—I flew into a blind rage and struck the bastard down. When I got ahold of Dimitri again—oh Felix, you can’t imagine the <em>relief </em>I felt. I-It’s something that lingers in me even now because it was the last positive emotion I felt when I was alive.”</p><p>I had never heard Glenn talk this much before. He never liked talking for long periods of time, preferring too keep conversations short. </p><p>
  <em>Like me.</em>
</p><p>“I got him up,” Glenn said, his tone quiet. “It happened so quick, we didn’t get the chance to run. I don’t know where they came from, but we were surrounded on all sides. They rushed us so fast, the only thing I could think to do was bum-rush the closest combatant and <em>shove </em>Dimitri through the lines. I remember screaming, “RUN!” over and over again, even after I felt swords and lances piercing my body. I-I knew I was able to get him through, and the assassins had focused on me so he would be able to run away, but he <em>didn’t run </em>Felix. H-He just stood there screaming and crying as I was swarmed and slain. He looked so scared and anguished—and <em>I </em>abandoned him to that. In my last seconds of life all I could think was, <em>“I failed him, there’s nobody left to protect him, he’s going to die because of me”</em>...”</p><p>
  <em>”At the Tragedy of Duscur, I saw countless corpses. Of course, I saw his too...Glenn's. Ingrid, I doubt you would have been able to see him. They were unable to bring his body back, after all. He must have died an agonizing death, full of pain and regret. That is what I saw in his face.”</em>
</p><p>I remembered overhearing Dimitri speaking with Ingrid about Glenn and that statement had stuck out in my mind. When I looked at Glenn now though, it suddenly made sense. <em>Dimitri was traumatized by the pain and regret in Glenn’s face when he died. But Glenn only felt pain and regret because he thought that Dimitri’s life was forfeit now because he was dying...</em></p><p>”So that was it,” Glenn said. “There is no real glory in war. Just chaos and violence, as you well know. I had delusions of grandeur that I was a hero, but right at the end all I amounted to be was being a stupid kid holding a sword, scared for his life.”</p><p>”You save Dimitri’s life at the cost of your own!” I snapped at him. “Whatever you were thinking when you died, you did your duty! I hate you for going off to die, but your death wasn’t a waste! Dimitri is alive right now because of you! Don’t you <em>ever</em> forget it!”</p><p>Glenn looked at me again, but his expression was changed. Now he was wearing a small smile. “That sounds more like the Felix I know.”</p><p>”Everyone worships the memory of you being a hero regardless so you might as well <em>enjoy </em>the title,” I scoffed, shaking my head.</p><p>“Everyone?”</p><p>“The Old Man, Dimitri, Ingrid—”</p><p>
  <em>“I've realized that I haven't been facing a very important truth. Because of you, I can finally move on. Thank you.”</em>
</p><p>Ingrid’s voice floated over my mind and I growled as I shook my head. “Well, thank you for telling me this,” I said stiffly, embarrassed that I remembered <em>that </em>in this moment. “Not that it really matters though, because this isn’t really happening anyways.”</p><p>When I looked up again though, I noticed that Glenn was—actually smiling this time. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw him smile like that. “What are you grinning about?!” I demanded. “You just told me how you were murdered! Why are you now looking so happy?!”</p><p>”Because I know,” Glenn said. “I know that despite how bad everything turned out for me, that everything will be all right for you, Felix.”</p><p>”What makes you so sure of that?”</p><p>Glenn looked at me for a long moment of silence. “Can I ask you a question?”</p><p>”You just lectured me about how rude it is to answer a question with a question! Why don’t you answer my question first?!”</p><p>”Why do you still have that?” He pointed at me and I looked down. I saw Mother’s ring on the chain around my neck. I looked up. “It’s Mother’s ring. It was Father’s keepsake, I’m keeping his keepsake safe.”</p><p>”Do you intend on hanging onto that for the rest of your life? Or are you going to swallow your pride and give that to Ingrid?”</p><p>Heat flared up on my face and I slapped my hand over the ring. “W-What?!”</p><p>”Felix.” Glenn spoke to me in a warning glare. “You were just complaining about being left alone. Yet with Mother’s ring you have the potential of spending your life with someone you love. Yet you’ve not given Ingrid that ring. Why?”</p><p>I shook my head. “This is stupid. I really am imagining things. Glenn wouldn’t have visited me to tell me to propose to his former fiancée. I’m going back to bed.” I turned to roll over, but Glenn grabbed me by my arm and yanked me back up into a sitting position. “Let me go and go away!” I snapped. “You’re not my brother!”</p><p>Glenn however overpowered me and yanked me close. ”I don’t have a lot of time left, so I’m telling you that I love you and you need to let yourself be happy! I’ve watched you suffer and torture yourself and the people around you for <em>years </em>because I died! Do you think it’s been easy watching you turn into the person you’ve become? It hasn’t! I don’t want this for you! I don’t want you to be me, Felix! I want you to be yourself! I want you to move on with your life and be your own person! I want you to live the life that YOU want! And! And I don’t want you to be alone! You can be with Ingrid!”</p><p>”Why are you pushing me so hard to get with the woman who was supposed to marry you?!”</p><p>”Because you love her, Felix! Do you think I didn’t notice when we were kids?! Of course I knew! I knew, and I hated that I was hurting you by being betrothed to her, but I didn’t have a choice! You didn’t have a choice! You do now, because you love her and she loves you back!”</p><p>I knew this. I had known this for moons now. But I still gaped at him, struggling for words. “H...How are you so sure?”</p><p>Glenn gave me a sad and painful smile. “Because she doesn’t think of me anymore.”</p><p>...</p><p>I opened my eyes. I was laying on my back in bed. I quickly sat up and looked around my room. I was alone.</p><p>
  <em>I knew it. I knew that it was nothing more than a damned dream!</em>
</p><p>Cursing under my breath I stood up from my bed and yanked my nightshirt over my head. It was dawn outside. <em>Tomorrow we march. I need to ready my soldiers.</em></p><p>As I turned to find my uniform, my eyes glanced towards my desk. I froze mid-turn, a cold chill enveloping my body, and I stumbled over to my desk and looked at the surface.</p><p>Father’s spell book was open on my desk.</p><hr/><p>I was speaking with the soldiers of House Fraldarius when word reached us that Dimitri was holding an “open call” for knighthood. Anyone who was interested could go to the Cathedral and be knighted by Dimitri himself. Once <em>that </em>news spread through the ranks I could see that no one was interested in the briefing. I dismissed the soldiers, and <em>all </em>of the ones who did not already have knighthood raced towards the Cathedral. Instead of joining them I went straight to the Knight’s Hall. Which was empty, which pleased me as I wanted to be left alone. I was impressed with Dimitri’s offer for knighthood because it was a great way to boost morale, but the pomp and circumstance annoyed me.</p><p>
  <em>I imagine that this is only symbolic. How many of those people are actually going to survive tomorrow and enjoy their new knight titles?</em>
</p><p>I grinded my teeth as I frowned, and took a seat in front of the fireplace. Thinking that thought made me feel sick to my stomach. It was surely practical to think like that, but I didn’t <em>like </em>thinking like that. If the world were a perfect place, then tomorrow there would be no fatalities. But we were going to invade the capital of the Adrestian Empire. Fatalities were unfortunately inevitable.</p><p>
  <em>I imagine the Old Man would be pleased to see me now, fretting over the lives of the people who serve my family. I wonder if this is how Dimitri feels.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“There is no real glory in war. Just chaos and violence, as you well know.”</em>
</p><p>I huffed and looked towards the ceiling. “You were definitely right about that...”</p><p>Glenn of course had no answer for me because he wasn’t there. I...didn’t know if I had really dreamt my encounter with him or if his ghost had really visited me, but I knew that I had definitely not left the spell book on my desk. And when I first saw Glenn, he was flipping through the book...</p><p><em>It really doesn’t matter.</em> But thinking like that made me feel more uncomfortable.</p><p>”<em>Felix</em>!”</p><p>I looked up at this shout. I saw Sylvain Jose Gautier race into the Knight’s Hall. I made no move to stand and greet him. “You seem to be in a hurry,” I pointed out. “Mind if I ask why?”</p><p>Sylvain collapsed beside me on the couch and took a moment to catch his breath. I watched in silence, annoyed that he was leaving me in suspense. I noticed though that he had a letter clenched in his fist. He grabbed my hand and shoved the letter into it. “Here—you need to read this!”</p><p>”No, I don’t,” I snapped back at him. “Reading it is a waste of time when <em>you </em>already read it and you can just tell me what’s in it!”</p><p>”All right, fine!” Sylvain straightened in his seat and looked at me as he got his breathing under control. “I got a letter from my father! I...I’m engaged.”</p><p>”Congratulations,” I said, unable to sound anything but sarcastic. I shoved the letter back into his hand. “Maybe Lady Rhea will conduct your wedding ceremony after we—”</p><p>”Damn it Felix, just shut up and listen to me!” Sylvain hollered.</p><p>My brow lifted at this. This was quite unusual behavior from him. “So you don’t want to marry your betrothed. That’s to be expected. You’ve made it pretty clear to the rest of us over the years that you’re not looking forward to marriage.”</p><p>”<em>Felix</em>,” Sylvain hissed, glaring at me.</p><p>”If you have something to say, just spit it out!” I snapped back at him. “Leaving people in suspense when you try to share what you feel is important information is pretty rude, Sylvain!”</p><p>”This letter?” Sylvain held it up. “Tells me that I’m engaged to be married to <em>Ingrid</em>!”</p><p>I didn’t mean to react to that, but this news took me by surprise. I felt a squirm of discomfort in the core of my being. Sylvain shook the letter in my face. “My father made the arrangements with Margave Galatea, Ingrid’s father. After we take Enbarr, we’re both supposed to go to the Galatea estate and be married. I’m pretty sure Ingrid got a letter like this, too.”</p><p>”...I see,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I gestured to him. “It sounds like neither of you are being given the option to refuse.”</p><p>”I don’t care,” Sylvain said heatedly. “I <em>am </em>going to refuse this!”</p><p>I frowned, and try to muster up some indifference. “You don’t want to marry Ingrid, huh? Why not? She’s your childhood friend and she knows how to keep you in line. You could do worse.”</p><p>”I love her,” Sylvain confirmed, and I felt another unwilling stab of discomfort in my stomach. “But I’m not <em>in </em>love with her. I love her as one of the best friends I’ve ever had. That kind of love is <em>not </em>the kind of love I want to marry someone for.”</p><p>“So you’re planning on taking a stand against your parents over this? When you haven’t given a damn before now?”</p><p>”I didn’t give a damn because I didn’t love anyone!” Sylvain snapped. I could see anger and frustration in his face as he stood up. “I thought I could manage an arranged marriage before because I didn’t love any of my lovers! But now—” He shook his head violently. “Now it’s different! I’m going to fight for the marriage <em>I </em>want because I <em>do </em>love someone!”</p><p>”...Wait,” I said slowly. “You’re in love with someone? You?! When did <em>that </em>happen?!”</p><p>”I don’t know! Why does it matter <em>when </em>I fell in love! What matters is that I’m in love NOW, and I want to marry the woman I love! I don’t care what my parents say, or what anyone thinks, I’m going to be selfish!”</p><p>I shook my head and scoffed. “You’re being deliberately vague about the woman you’re in love with. It’s Mercedes, isn’t it?”</p><p>He stiffened and turned crimson. I rolled my eyes. “Didn’t she already tell her father that she was engaged to Professor Byleth? We all know he’s just some scummy merchant who “adopted” Mercedes so that she could snatch a rich and affluential husband and expand his own influence. If you decide to marry her, then you’ll just be giving that bastard what he wants.” </p><p>Syvlain shook his head. “I’ll handle that guy. It’s not going to stop me from wanting to be with her.”</p><p>”Why are you even here telling me this?” I asked him. “What does any of this have to do with me? If you don’t want to marry Ingrid, go and tell her!”</p><p>Sylvain laughed humorlessly. “Oh Felix...are you really so dense?”</p><p>”Excuse me?!” I snapped, standing up to confront him.</p><p>”You know why I’m here! I came here to tell you about the engagement so that you can do something about it!”</p><p>”’Do something’? Do what?!”</p><p>Sylvain went still and he looked at me. His eyes were wide with shock. “Are...Are you serious right now?”</p><p>”Why don’t you try and make sense—”</p><p>”I can’t believe it!” He suddenly burst out. “You’re really not going to do it?! We’re marching on Enbarr tomorrow! Tomorrow’s battle is going to turn the tide of the entire war! Anything can happen—we all might die tomorrow!”</p><p>”...What’s your point?” I asked him.</p><p>Sylvain shocked me by grabbing me by my collar. “I’m talking about Ingrid, Felix! You love her!”</p><p>I was shocked by his words that I couldn’t form a reply. Sylvain was speaking too quickly for me to form a reply anyway. “Don’t you <em>dare</em> deny it because I know it’s true! You love her! You’ve always loved her! You’re too old to be dragging your feet with this, especially since anything can happen tomorrow! You need to tell her how you feel before it’s too late!”</p><p><em>Did my brother visit Sylvain last night too? He sounds like Glenn! </em>”If anything can happen tomorrow, then there’s point in anything that you’re saying,” I snapped, pulling free from him. I was angry and embarrassed by how he was making me feel. It was so <em>easy </em>for him to tell me what the right thing to do was when he expressed himself so freely!</p><p>
  <em>If it was just a matter of expressing feelings towards her, then this wouldn’t be a problem!</em>
</p><p>”I...” Sylvain suddenly looked to be at a loss for words. “I just want you two to be happy, okay? How long are the both of you going to keep hurting yourselves over past tragedies before either of you will let yourselves be happy? You both can make each other happy.”</p><p>”I’d be happy with just my sword and wandering the world,” I spat out, but I knew I said it as defense mechanism and not with actual feeling. </p><p>”Then go and wander!” Sylvain shouted, waving a hand furiously. “Relinquish your noble title and become a mercenary or something! But damn it all, do it with Ingrid! Y-You both can fight for justice, and then retire in a farming community with kids for all I care! But live that life with Ingrid because you love her and you <em>deserve </em>to be happy and in love!”</p><p>I stared at him in silence. He was breathing heavily from shouting, and I realized that I was breathing heavily too. “...Why do you even care?” I asked numbly. I couldn’t think of anything else to say.</p><p>”Because I love you,” Sylvain said painfully. “And I love Ingrid. And I’m sick and <em>tired </em>of the people I love hurting all the damn time! I want you all to stop drinking the poison of the past! We cannot change the past! Not even our illustrious Professor change the past! The only thing we can change is our future, and <em>that </em>is what we should focus on! Mercedes is <em>my </em>future, and Ingrid is <em>your</em> future, Felix!”</p><p>My throat was clenched tightly. I looked away because words were still failing me. I could hear the irritated, rage-filled words echoing in my head but none of them could form in my throat. So I remained silent.</p><p>”I’m going to go find Ingrid,” Sylvain said softly. “And break off this engagement with her. Then I’m going to go figure out a way to propose to Mercedes. And you—” He pointed a finger at me menacingly. “Had better tell Ingrid how you really feel. If you don’t, I’ll <em>never</em> forgive you.”</p><p>He left immediately afterwards, leaving me alone in the Knight’s Hall, and I took a seat on the couch again. I stared at at the burning fireplace until my eyes ached and I closed them. I reached under my shirt and pulled out Mother’s ring. I pressed it hard over my heart.</p><p><em>So...this is how it is. I get lectured by my living best friend and my dead older brother to be happy. </em>I frowned as I ducked my head. <em>Everyone makes it sound so easy—but it isn’t!</em></p><p>I felt someone sit beside me, but I had heard no one enter the Knight’s Hall. I lifted my head but I didn’t open my eyes. “So. You came to give me a lecture too, Father? Are you mad that I dreamt of killing you?”</p><p>“Of course not,” was the soft response. “We cannot control our dreams Felix, and I know in your heart how devastating that nightmare was for you. I’m not here to condemn you or lecture you. I don’t think you would listen to one anyways.”</p><p>I laughed sarcastically as I opened my eyes and looked to my right. As I expected, Father was dressed in the uniform he wore when he died. He wasn’t looking at me but his eyes were on the fireplace. “First Glenn and now you. Is the afterlife so boring that you came all the way here to bother me? Or have you spent so much time talking to Dimitri that you suddenly remembered that you left behind a living son?”</p><p>Father looked at me then. His blue eyes were sad and uncharacteristically subdued. “I don’t have much time here Felix, so I won’t mince words. I want to heal the wounds I put on your heart. I loved you so much but I had done nothing but consistently hurt you. When Bianca died, I was overwhelmed with grief and I neglected Glenn and you. And when Glenn died, I neglected you again because of my grief. There were so many times that you needed me, and I wasn’t there. Even in death, I put His Highness first. It was a necessary sacrifice, and I can rest easy knowing that His Highness is well again. But you are my son, and you should’ve come first for me, and you never did. It will be my greatest regret for all of eternity. I know that it means nothing now, but...I’m sorry, Felix.”</p><p>
  <em>”No matter what my position is, you need to put your family first. Your future spouse and children need to come first in your life before me. Both Glenn and Rodrigue put me before their family, and they lost their lives for it. House Fraldarius has done enough for House Blaiddyd. House Fraldarius should put its members first for once.”</em>
</p><p>Dimitri’s words rumbled in my ears. I felt tears sting my eyes as anger swelled in me. I was almost snarling as I turned to face him. “I don’t want your apology, Old Man! You had your chance to make things right with me before you died, and you didn’t! Am I supposed to suddenly forgive you for everything that you did to me just because you’re dead?! I’m angry, okay?! I’m angry that I keep <em>losing</em>! No matter what I do, the people I love keep dying! No matter what path I would’ve chosen in life, it feels like you would’ve died no matter what! It isn’t fair! I...” I shook my head and breathed heavily through clenched teeth. It took every ounce of willpower to not shed tears because I did <em>not </em>want to cry in front of Father. “You shouldn’t have come,” I said hotly. “This isn’t healing for me. It’s making me feel worse.”</p><p>A hand touched my shoulder. ”Felix.”</p><p><em>Huh?</em> I didn’t recognize this voice. I looked up at Father, but both of his hands were folded in his lap and he was staring behind me. I looked at my shoulder and saw a pale woman’s hand there. And—a ring—<em>the </em>ring—</p><p>I quickly spun around and came face to face with Mother. It was her—I knew that face from her painting. She had died when I was so young so she had a youthful appearance but it was <em>her.</em> She was dressed in a white gown—<em>was this her burial</em> <em>gown</em><em>?—</em>her dark hair was loose and her brown eyes held mine and wouldn’t allow me to look away. My mouth hung open as I gaped at her, my mind going blank. I didn’t know what to say.</p><p>”I’m so sorry for everything that you suffered,” she told me. Her maternal tone somehow put me at ease. “I wish I was there for all of you. I wish I was at your side now. I wish I had been able to see you grow up. We’ve seen the pain you’ve carried all this time and my heart breaks for you.”</p><p>I quickly closed my eyes, my breathing shaky. “I—Have I lost my mind like Dimitri did? I’m not asleep. Why am I seeing ghosts when I haven’t seen ghosts before?”</p><p>“I understand your anger,” Father said. “And letting out your anger can be beneficial in the healing process. But you cannot heal when you continue to hang onto the anger. You use the anger and the pain to hurt other people, but in doing so you’re damaging yourself.”</p><p>”This is <em>fantastic</em>,” I said sarcastically. “I’m being lectured by my dead parents about my feelings! Maybe Dimitri <em>wasn’t </em>really a boar after all! Maybe it was me the whole time!”</p><p>Mother reached out and pressed a hand over my heart. I looked at her face and was surprised by the surge of pain I felt when I saw the sorrow in her expression. “I want you to live,” she said quietly. “I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I want you to be happy. I wanted to see you because I missed you so much...and I didn’t want you to lose your chance at being happy.”</p><p>Breaths huffed out in short spurts and tears stung my eyes. Mother smiled at me. “I used to love holding you and singing to you. I didn’t bother with a wet nurse  for Glenn or you because you were my children and <em>I </em>wanted to be the one who cared for you. I...” her breath was shaky but she shook her head. “There is no use dwelling on the past. What you should focus on is your future. The future that will make you happy, Felix.”</p><p>”How would you know what makes me happy?” I demanded, but I immediately hated myself for saying it. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault you weren’t there for me. It was impossible for you to be there for me when you were dead.”</p><p>”As am I,” Father said quietly. “It’s impossible to make up to you the pain I’ve inflicted upon you. But I’m not seeking your forgiveness, Felix. I only want to help you.”</p><p>I felt angry again, but it was wrapped so tightly in pain that I grimaced. I lowered my head and gritted my teeth. I wasn’t looking at him. “...Why didn’t you try harder when you were alive?!”</p><p>“Because I was afraid of your rejection,” Father said simply. “What I should’ve done is continued to try to reconcile with you. Instead I made the minimal efforts, and then withdrew when your rejection inevitably surfaced. I should’ve handled it better, Felix. I’m so sorry.”</p><p>I shook my head and turned so that I was facing forward. Mother’s hand was still resting over my heart and I pressed my hand over hers. I opened my eyes and looked at Father. I felt so many things when I looked at him. Anger, resentment, disillusionment—but pain, regret...and <em>love</em>.</p><p>
  <em>I wasn’t able to make things right with him. And it hurts because I love him so much.</em>
</p><p>”I’m sorry.” </p><p>Father blinked, and his expression looked shocked. “F...Felix?”</p><p>”I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I blamed you for not making things right with me. But I—I never made any effort to make things right with <em>you.</em> I thought I didn’t want to talk to you or be around you, but that wasn’t true. It’s just that—I couldn’t shut off the <em>anger</em> I felt. It...clings to me and it twists me up, and I couldn’t stand to be around you! You say you made minimal efforts, but at least you tried! I never made <em>any </em>efforts to reconcile with you! I...” I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Old Man.”</p><p>”Felix...” I wasn’t looking at him but I could hear the tears in Father’s voice. “You’ve grown into a fine young man and I pray that you live a long and fulfilling life. But you must know that if you continue to suppress everything that isn’t anger and resentment, then you won’t truly be living.”</p><p>”He’s right,” Mother said. “We all love you so much. But it’s time you stopped hurting yourself, Felix.”</p><p>I opened my eyes, wanting to say more to them, but I found myself alone in the Knight’s Hall. I twisted my head around trying to see my parents, but I saw nothing of them. I let out a harsh gasp and collapsed back onto the couch.</p><p>
  <em>W...What on earth was that? Were my parents here? Was I having a conversation with them? What is going on?! Why is all of this suddenly happening now?!</em>
</p><p>I looked down at the ring hanging around the chain. I held the ring up in the center of my palm. <em>Both the living and the dead are telling me that I’m not living. That I need to let myself be happy. </em>I clenched the ring in my fist. <em>But I...I don’t know how to BE happy! The only time I’ve felt happy in recent years is when I’ve held a sword in my hand! They all think that I’ll just magically feel better if I marry Ingrid, but I know right now that I love her and I’m not feeling magically better! And she might love me back, but am I enough for HER, even?! How much of the love that she feels for me is for ME and not her projecting her feelings for Glenn onto me?! Why does everyone act like <strong>I </strong>have to do something?! Why is there no expectation of Ingrid doing anything?! Why does everyone thing that this is simple for me?! It’s not!</em></p><p>”Felix?”</p><p>After everything that happened today, and the thoughts racing through my head, I wasn’t prepared for this moment mentally. Ingrid’s voice sent a shiver down my spine and I shuddered slightly. I lifted my head and looked at her out of the corner of my eye. The ring was still in my fist—there was no use tucking it back under my shirt because she would definitely see it.</p><p>”Sylvain told me you were here,” she said. She walked over and stood close to the fireplace. She smiled at me, but it was a small smile. “I...I thought you should know that His Highness knighted me earlier. I’m a Knight now.”</p><p>”Congratulations,” I said curtly. I focused on the fireplace instead of on her, though I felt my heart pounding in my throat. “You finally achieved your dream. Anything else?”</p><p>”Well...since Sylvain told me you were here, I won’t waste words and get straight to the point,” Ingrid said. She moved so that she was now standing in front of me. “My engagement with Sylvain is officially off. We mutually agreed that we did not want to marry each other.”</p><p>”Hmph,” I said. I looked up and tried not to meet her gaze but my eyes focused on hers anyways. Her gaze was warm and slightly uncertain, but I saw the conviction in her expression. I had intended to say something but the words caught in my throat.</p><p>”I’m sorry,” she told me. “I’m truly, truly sorry. I didn’t intend to do this until after the war was over, because the timing seemed inappropriate otherwise. But I...” she shrugged sadly. She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. The sound was shaky, and her posture became stiff. She was clearly preparing herself for something. But I was the one who was taken off-guard.</p><p>”I love you, Felix.”</p><p>I kept an outward appearance of calm, but a cold jolt shook my body. And—And cool <em>relief </em>settled over my heart. <em>She said it. She finally said it.</em></p><p>”I know,” Ingrid said quickly, with obvious intention to prevent me from responding. “That I don’t know what your feelings are for me. A-And I know we’re not exactly compatible when it comes to sharing things with each other, or our life goals. I-I’m a soldier, I don’t know how to be in a relationship. I don’t think I need to elaborate on what my only relationship experience was.” <em>Glenn</em>. It was unspoken but we both knew. “But in the last few years my feelings for you changed. I tried to deny it, I tried to suppress it, but no matter what I did these feelings became greater and greater.” She waved a hand stiffly, and I saw tears in her green eyes. “All I know is that I love you, Felix. I love you so much that—” she sputtered on her words, and tears slipped down her cheeks. “I wasn’t even really happy when His Highness knighted me!”</p><p>I gaped at her, stunned. “This was my dream, but it—when I achieved it, it didn’t make me <em>feel </em>different! I didn’t feel fulfilled, Felix! And I was thinking—maybe, maybe knighthood really was something I didn’t want for myself, you know? Maybe knighthood really was a m-memento of my memories of Glenn, and I was just subconsciously following his legacy!</p><p>”It’s just that I...” she wiped at her face and sniffled as she met my eyes again. “Loving you has become more fulfilling for me. I-I think I realized that knighthood isn’t my real goal in life. Sure, I could still be a chivalrous knight and fight for justice but what I want is more than that. What I truly want is to be with you.”</p><p>I had known she loved me, even when she hesitated in admitting it. Even when she had deflected from admitting it to me. But hearing it now; hearing the depths of her feelings for me and to hear that her desire to be with me <em>surpassed </em>her desire to be a knight shook me to the core.</p><p><em>She strived to be a knight because she was emulating Glenn. She emulated Glenn with her life choices like I emulated Glenn in my...demeanor. I did it because I loved Glenn. She did it because she also loved Glenn. But she loves me more than knighthood...does this mean that she loves me more than Glenn? </em>I shook my head furiously. <em>Damn it all, why I comparing the two?!</em></p><p>I saw Ingrid flinch back slightly out of the corner of my eye, and I quickly realized that she mistook my head shake as a refusal of her confession. “T...Thank you for listening to what I had to say,” she said quietly. She sounded like she was fighting back further tears. “I won’t bother you anymore. Goodbye, Felix.”</p><p>My head snapped up as she turned to leave. No—she was <em>running </em>for the doors to the Knight’s Hall. <em>HEY! Where are you going?! Do you think you can just drop this on me and then run away without hearing my response?!</em></p><p>
  <em>...But she thinks she already <strong>got </strong>her response.</em>
</p><p>I launched from the couch and chased after her. Ingrid had a head start but I was a <em>much </em>faster runner. She almost made it to the entrance when I grabbed her arm from behind. I didn’t give her a moment to struggle or fight me; I spun her around to face me and pinned her to the doorframe. One hand held her shoulder while the other grabbed her chin. My mouth found hers. I kissed her hard, and though she was stunned for a moment she quickly yielded to my kiss and reciprocated it, her hands reaching up to slide up my back under my cloak.</p><p>If anyone peered into the entrance corridor of the Knight’s Hall they would see us kissing but in the moment I didn’t care. I savored the feeling of her mouth against mine, even as my stomach twisted in embarrassment. I had never had a lover or relationship, thus my only experiences with intimate kissing had occurred within the last few moons and only with Ingrid. The few times we had kissed she responded positively to the kisses, and I could sense her own inexperience with this (though it shamed me I was pleased with this). When our tongues twined I heard her make a sound in her throat and I repeated the motion. Whatever I was doing was making her feel good, and I felt a surge of pride at this. I closed the distance between us and slid my arms around her shoulders, and she buried one hand in my hair and sucked on my mouth. My knees shook slightly as warmth hummed through me. Despite our inexperience we seemed to be...quick learners on how to make each other feel good.</p><p>
  <em>I love you. I love you. And I know that you love me, but I want you to love only me!</em>
</p><p>I broke the kiss and we were both panting for breath. I released her but not completely. My hands rested on her shoulders and I rested my forehead next to one of my hands. She still hadn’t let me go, and I closed my eyes because I didn’t want to look at her. It felt safer to hide my face. It would be easier to speak when I didn’t have to see her reaction. When I could focus on the darkness behind my closed eyelids instead of the room we were in.</p><p>
  <em>You have to tell her. You’re out of time and she thinks you’ve rejected her. You HAVE to tell her, Felix!</em>
</p><p>I swallowed thickly and steadied my voice. “I’m not my brother.”</p><p>”I know—” Ingrid quickly responded, but I squeezed her shoulders. “Don’t. I listened to you without interruptions, now please do the same for me.” She fell silent again, but I felt her eyes on me. “You don’t understand,” I continued. “You’re an only child. Your parents are still alive. You don’t know what it feels like to watch your family die around you. You don’t know what it truly means to be alone. How...<em>unsettling </em>it is to feel for someone, because you don’t know how long that person will be around. If it was ever worth the effort to love them.”</p><p>Ingrid was silent, her breathing unsteady. I took a moment to compose myself, and I loosened my grip on her shoulders. “And before you say, I’m not diminishing your grief, or implying that you don’t know the meaning of loss. But I want you understand what it has been like for <em>me</em>. What it felt like to love someone so much with whom you will never measure up to. I got to watch my brother be great at everything. He was heir, he was a knight, he had Father’s attention, he had you. I know—now that it wasn’t really favoritism and it was just because he was heir and thus got more attention because he had greater responsibilities than me. It’s just that I—I loved him so much, but he was always just better at me at everything. He didn’t even need to try, he was just better. I wasn’t jealous, I understood our positions. But he was important to everyone—to me—and then suddenly he wasn’t there.</p><p>”Ever since he died I’ve been emulating him to the point that I don’t even know who I am anymore. Suddenly, everything that Glenn had <em>I </em>had. <em>I </em>was the heir. <em>I </em>was being pushed towards knighthood. And Father, he—he gave me all of the attention he had given Glenn. D-Do you know what it feels like when you start erasing yourself to become the same as a dead person? The person you were gets erased, and the person who died—<em>they </em>become erased too.”</p><p>I dipped my head further down, my forehead on her shoulder, trying to completely hide my face. My teeth were chattering because I was subconsciously trying to suppress the words I was saying, but I swallowed my pride and forced them out. “You loved him. You loved my brother. If things were different you both would be married right now.” My fingers flexed against her shoulders. “D...Did you know—how much I looked forward to your visits when you came to see Glenn? How happy I was to play with you, and talk to you? Whenever Father announced that you were coming, I would get so excited that I would climb onto the roof of our house so that I could look for your carriage.”</p><p>Ingrid’s breathing became quicker and shallower, but she still didn’t speak. My own voice dipped to a whisper and I felt heat on my face. “It was hard. Do you know that? You came by so often, and you were always so happy whenever you came, but the only reason you were happy was because you got to see Glenn. I once saw you crying the morning you had to leave because you didn’t <em>want </em>to leave. And t—one of your retainers was laughing and reassuring you that our home would be your home someday.” I choked, the words gurgling in my throat. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes tighter. “I wasn’t jealous of Glenn’s skill, or the attention he got from Father. B...But seeing how happy he made you <em>did </em>make me jealous.”</p><p>Ingrid sucked in a sharp breath. I realized that I was stalling and wanted to get this over with and my tone inadvertently turned harsh. “I was <em>jealous</em>, okay?! I was jealous of how happy the both of you were together! I saw the way you smiled at him and I kept thinking <em>“Why can’t she smile at me like that?!”</em>. And it was stupid and futile because you were Glenn’s fiancée and it was <em>important </em>that you were happy to be with him but I wanted you to be happy with me! Do you get it, Ingrid?!”</p><p>Ingrid gulped, the noise like a grimace. I felt her breath against my ear, her tone a whisper. “Felix...are you saying you love me?”</p><p>I flinched at hearing that, and my hands squeezed her shoulders again, but not painfully. “Is there any point in this?” I asked numbly. “Do you really understand that I’m not my brother? We share the same blood, but I’m my own person! I’m not him! I have my own life and my own feelings, but—”</p><p>A strangled whine rumbled from my throat, and I was instantly filled with shame. I opened my eyes but my vision was blurry. My eyes widened in shock and the tears fell, splashing onto Ingrid’s boots. My mouth opened, but I felt a sob choking me. I swallowed it, the process shaking my body, and I closed my eyes. My teeth clenched but my mouth moved, my voice low. “...I love you.”</p><p>I had said it. Three words I hadn’t uttered in over a decade, and it sounded like a pathetic whimper. I didn’t notice Ingrid’s reaction to it because I pressed my face into her shoulder, trying and failing to stop crying. “I love you...so <em>much</em>! ...I don’t remember a moment of my life when I <em>didn’t </em>love you! Are you happy now?! You couldn’t have my brother but now you can have me! <em>Errrrgh</em>!”</p><p>I shook my head again. Now that I had finally confessed my feelings, all of my feelings were spilling out of me like a wound gushing blood. “This—is the worst! I didn’t want this! I can only have you now because my brother is gone! Am I supposed to be overjoyed?! I hate it! Why couldn’t you have been engaged to me in the beginning?! These are <em>my </em>feelings like they’ve always have been! But I have felt nothing but <em>pain</em>! Do you know how hard this is for me?! I believe you when you told me you loved me, but you loved Glenn too! You’ve loved Glenn <em>longer </em>than you loved me! Love isn’t something you can just shut off! Believe me, I tried! But everyone I love had died on me! And you were in love with my brother your whole life! Do you understand, Ingrid?! <em>Do you understand</em>?!”</p><p>Ingrid threw her arms around my shoulders and crushed me against her in a tight hug. Her movement moved the position of my head, my forehead touching the wall and my cheek against hers. I felt her breath against my ear—it was wet and shaky. She was also crying. “Yes.”</p><p>Her voice was soft, trembling with her tears. “I understand how you feel, Felix. Do you think this has been easy for me? When I realized that I was falling in love with you I was <em>scared</em>. I was disgusted with myself, because <em>I </em>had thought that I was projecting my feelings for Glenn onto you! I told you I tried to suppress my feelings. I did everything I could to ignore the love I felt for you. I kept trying to convince myself that I needed to stop, but the feelings kept growing and growing. But Felix—I <em>do </em>know. I know you’re not Glenn. My life experiences with you in no way resemble my life experiences with Glenn. I never fought side-by-side with Glenn on the battlefield. I never treated his battle injuries. He never let me do it, he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable. But I treated <em>your </em>battle injuries and you treated mine. Felix, I...I did love Glenn. He was my first love. But I’m not the same person I was when I fell in love with Glenn. I wasn’t the same person I was when I realized that I had fallen in love with you.</p><p>”We’ve been through so much together, Felix.” One of her hands left my neck and reached beneath my cloak to rub my back. “We’ve suffered together through so many hardships. We’ve also experienced good things together. I...” she leaned back and turned my face towards her. I didn’t want her to look at me because I still had tears on my face, but she wouldn’t let me turn away. “I love you. And I want you to believe me when I tell you that I love <em>you</em>. It took a long time to get to where I am now with my feelings for you. I had to do a lot of soul-searching in order to understand myself. But I hope that you’ll believe me when I tell you that I love you, and the love I feel for you is not the same as the love I felt for Glenn.”</p><p>My throat was raw and my body felt raw. My heart was thudding in a...strange way. My hands left her shoulders and dropped down to my sides. And...I still felt resistance deep inside me. “I’m a warrior,” I said numbly. “I’ve never had a lover.”</p><p>”I’m a warrior too,” Ingrid reminded me. She suddenly flushed. “...And I’ve never had a lover, either.”</p><p>”I don’t know how to love anyone.”</p><p>”But you love me, though.”</p><p>I shook my head and closed my eyes. “What do you want from me? Do you want to marry me? Be my wife and bare my children?”</p><p>Ingrid didn’t back down. “What you should really be asking yourself is <em>“What do I want from Ingrid?”.</em> I think you’ll get a better answer that way.”</p><p>Our foreheads touched, her hand was on my nape and the other still slowly stroking up and down my back. I could feel warmth from her proximity, and when I inhaled I could smell her. She didn’t use obnoxious fragrances like other women did. She smelled earthy...natural. It was so strange. The more she touched me, the more my muscles relaxed. I reached up and slid my hands up her back, finally reciprocating her hug, and I leaned my head against her shoulder once more.</p><p>It was simple, so simple. We were hugging each other but the longer she held me I could feel the tension inside of me dissipating. She was smaller than me, and nowhere near as strong as I was, but nestling up to her made me feel—safe. Calm. Much surer of myself. My heart was still pounding in an uncomfortable way, but she was warm—I could still feel her warmth, and it spread over to me.</p><p>I could...I felt the tug on lips and I realized that I was <em>smiling</em>. Ingrid no doubt couldn’t see my smile, but I felt it on my face. I was smiling because of the warmth. I was smiling because—my emotions still felt so raw, but I felt...happy.</p><p>
  <em>This feels so good. I don’t want to leave here. I could be content staying like this forever.</em>
</p><p>I opened my eyes and straightened. <em>...Yes. That is my answer.</em></p><p>We were standing so close together that our bodies were still pressed together, but I didn’t care and she didn’t seem to care either. I took the hand that was on my nape and moved it so that it was in front of me. Ingrid said nothing, watching as I pulled off her glove and gauntlet. Despite being a seasoned warrior her hand was beautiful, nicely manicured, and softly delicate. I pulled off my own glove and held hers in it. Our fingers interlinked, hers over mine, and before I could stop myself I leaned down and kissed her knuckles.</p><p>Ingrid gasped softly, and when I looked at her I saw both hope and fear in her face, and her breathing quickened again. I turned her hand over and took off my mother’s ring. I stared at it for a moment. <em>I’m sorry. I’m doing the right thing now.</em> Then I placed the necklace in Ingrid’s palm. “I...want you to have this.”</p><p>She turned crimson, her eyes widening as she looked at the ring on the chain. She swiftly removed her other glove and gauntlet and held the ring up with her bare hands. “Felix...this is beautiful. How long have you had this ring?”</p><p>”Two moons,” I said stiffly, rubbing at my nape awkwardly.</p><p>”’Two moons’?” Ingrid examined the ring closely. “Oh—there’s an engraving on the inside. <em>Bian</em>—” she suddenly cried out and slapped a hand over mouth. Tears quickly filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. “F-Felix! This is your mother’s ring!”</p><p>”I know. Glenn would’ve probably given it to you eventually. That ring was always meant to be yours, so you may as well have it now.” I took off my other glove and let it fall to the floor. “I’m not going to kneel so don’t expect me to.” I took the ring from her and took her left hand again. I met and held her gaze again, though she was crying where she stood. “I love you. I’ve only ever wanted you. And I believe you when you tell me that you love me and don’t see me as a replacement for Glenn. We’re marching into battle tomorrow, and if we survive tomorrow I want you to be my wife. Whether we end up in another war fighting side-by-side, or living in peace and my sword gets rusty, I want to see it through with you. I want be with you, as I always have.”</p><p>Ingrid choked on a sob, and she tried to hide her face from me with her hand. I knew that it was no different than when I hid myself from her and didn’t try to stop her. Instead I removed the ring from the chain and slid it onto her ring finger.</p><p>And watched it stop before her second knuckle.</p><p>I stared at it for a long moment. I pushed on the ring but it didn’t budge past her knuckle. I looked at Ingrid and she was no longer crying. She was looking at Mother’s ring with an expression of horror. “It—It doesn’t fit me!”</p><p>I shrugged. “It’s not surprising. My mother was a delicate lady. And you’re...” I trailed off as I realized that I probably shouldn’t finish that sentence.</p><p>Ingrid scoffed and shook her head, taking the necklace and putting it on. “I’ll worry about it later. In meantime, I gladly accept your proposal.” She suddenly launched forward, grabbing me around the shoulders and kissing me hard on the mouth. I was stunned for moment but recovered, pinning her back against the doorframe and cupping her face in my hands.</p><p>Maybe—Maybe this wasn’t how I envisioned how things would end up for me. Being lectured by the living and the dead into letting go of the past. Even now I still felt the raw pain inside of me. I didn’t know if it would ever truly go away. But standing here, having given in to my feelings and holding the woman I loved, it didn’t hurt nearly as much. I’m sure Glenn would be most pleased to be proven right in this regard.</p><p>The warmth inside of me was getting hotter the longer I kissed her. Our movements seemed frantic, breaths heavy when contact briefly broke. I sucked her tongue into my mouth and she groaned softly. Yes...after all of this time of hurting, and hurting each other with our grief, it was very easy to make each other feel good.</p><p>
  <em>Never again. I don’t want to hurt like this again and I don’t want to hurt her again. Sylvain was right—the hurt we hung onto is just poison we’re killing ourselves with. This—touching her, kissing her, this warmth—it all feels so much better...</em>
</p><p>”Ahem.”</p><p>We seemed to snap back into reality with this sound. I didn’t let go of Ingrid but I broke the kiss abruptly as I looked to my left. Ingrid likewise looked to her right.</p><p>Sylvain was standing there, his eyes wide as he gaped at us. Mercedes von Martritz was at his side and she also looked shock while blushing. She was holding a stuffed teddy in one hand, and her other hand was tightly clasping Sylvain’s.</p><p>”...Well!” Sylvain burst out, his eyes still wide. “We came here to talk some sense into you, Felix. Clearly we didn’t need to!”</p><p>”I-I am so very happy for you both!” Mercedes said breathlessly, smiling her usual smile. “I was worried that both of you would go into battle tomorrow without settling things between you!”</p><p>I suddenly felt mortified and filled with rage, but instead of letting loose my rage against Sylvain the only sounds that came out of my throat was angry sputtering.</p><p>Ingrid however was able to speak, though she was blushing furiously. “I-I...Are you two...”</p><p>”Oh, yes!” Mercedes said cheerfully, nodding enthusiastically. “Sylvain proposed to me, and I said yes!” She wiggled her fingers around the stuffed bear, and I saw a...flower vine-thing that had been fashioned into a ring.</p><p>Ingrid stared at the ring for a long moment before she stared back up at the couple in front of us. “Oh...congratulations. I-I’m really—”</p><p>”ALL RIGHT!” Sylvain suddenly shouted, and I found myself crushed in a hug under his armored arms against his armored chest plate. “You did it, Felix! You really did it! I <em>knew </em>you would give in to your feelings! It feels good, doesn’t it?! I told you it would!”</p><p>He was squeezing me so tightly that black patches filled my vision. One of his arms was suddenly yanked off of me. “Get off him, Sylvain!” Ingrid snapped. “You’re suffocating him!”</p><p>”Hey, I’m happy that my two best friends finally got together!” Sylvain said defensively as I coughed for air. “And it was obviously a long time coming! I mean, do you both realize how passionate you looked?! Right here in the doorway, anyone who walked by could see you—”</p><p>I swiftly unsheathed my sword. Sylvain ‘eeped’ and jumped back. Mercedes suddenly inserted herself between us. “Now, now,” she said with her usual niceties. “We shouldn’t be acting like this. Tomorrow is a big day, and now that we’ve settled our personal affairs we should focus on the battle ahead.”</p><p>Ingrid reached out and placed a hand on my sword arm. “Felix,” she said quietly. I scoffed and slammed my sword back into its sheath. “This is stupid,” I said, but I felt further embarrassed because it was the only thing I could think of to say.</p><p>“We’ll win tomorrow,” Sylvain said confidently. “We’ll stop the Imperial Army, and when we get back we’re all getting married. Hey!” He shouted, startling Ingrid and I. He pointed to us. “We should have a double wedding!”</p><p>”...A double wedding?” Ingrid asked warily. </p><p>“Oh, that’s a fantastic idea!” Mercedes agreed. She rushed forward and grabbed Ingrid by her hand. “Isn’t that a great idea, Ingrid? Sharing a wedding together? We could get our makeup done together!”</p><p>The color drained from Ingrid’s face. She looked like she was incredible pain. She glanced at me for help, but I didn’t know what to do. “W...” she looked back at Mercedes. “W-Wouldn’t you rather share a wedding with Annette?”</p><p>”Oh, but I think I would enjoy a wedding ceremony,” Mercedes said positively. “I think Annie is going to elope with Ashe.”</p><p>”What?!” Sylvain and I said at the same time.</p><p>”Here, let’s go back to my room! There’s so many different shades of makeup I could show you!” Mercedes grabbed Ingrid by her wrist and took off running with her. </p><p>“W—Felix, HELP!” Ingrid shouted as Mercedes dragged her out of sight.</p><p>I gaped after them for a moment before I clicked my mouth shut. “When did Mercedes get that strong?”</p><p>”Don’t forget that she’s a warrior, too,” Sylvain said cheerfully, his hands behind his head. “Well, I gotta go draft a letter to my father. Are you going to go save your fiancée?”</p><p>”Fiancée?!” I snapped at him. Sylvain gave me a knowing look. “I saw the ring around Ingrid’s neck, Felix.”</p><p>I deflated very slightly. “...Right,” I grumbled.</p><p>”I’m happy for you,” Sylvain said. There was a slight strain to his voice. “I’m not saying that to tease you, Felix. I really am happy for you. I know Ingrid can make you happy, but don’t forget to make her happy too, okay?”</p><p>”Hmph,” I scoffed, looking away. </p><p>“I’ll take that as a yes,” Sylvain said, smiling. He started to leave but turned back around to face me. “You’re faster than Mercedes, so you still have time to save Ingrid before they make it to her room.”</p><p>”Are you telling me to take down your fiancée to save mine?”</p><p>”Oh, if you hurt Mercedes I’ll make sure you regret it,” Sylvain said cheerfully.</p><p>”As if you could take me down in a fight. Of course I’m not going to hurt her.”</p><p>Sylvain laughed as he left. I shook my head and scoffed as I looked towards the ceiling. “Here I am. A seasoned, lone wolf warrior about to save my future wife from a makeover,” I snapped. “You’re all probably laughing at me now.”</p><p>I waited for a moment, as if expecting a reply from Father, Mother, and Glenn. I didn’t receive them. <em>Of course not. They’re not here. But—Ingrid is. So I’d probably better save her from Mercedes or else she’ll never forgive me.</em></p><p>I shook my head again, and felt the smile again but briefly before I took off running. </p>
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